Question

假如你叫李華，你的美國筆友John在來信中談到低碳生活這個(gè)話題。最近幾個(gè)月你校倡導(dǎo)學(xué)生過低碳生活、過節(jié)約生活、做有責(zé)任感的公民，引導(dǎo)學(xué)生從出行、購物、用水、家電和餐具使用等方面反省自己的生活方式。請你用英文給John回信�；匦乓�點(diǎn)如下：
　　1.你對低碳生活的理解；
　　2.你校開展的活動(dòng)；
　　3.你最近生活方式的改變(至少選取三個(gè)方面)
　　注意：1.詞數(shù)120左右；
2.參考詞匯：低碳生活low carbon life(style)
3.信的開頭和結(jié)尾已為你寫好(不計(jì)入總詞數(shù))
Dear John,
　　How are things going? In your last letter you talked about low carbon life. Now I’d like to share my understanding of it and my experience in the past few months.
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　　I’m really glad to communicate with you about this topic.
Yours，
Li Hua

Answer 1

How are things going? In your last letter you talked about low carbon life. Now I’d like to share my understanding of it and my experience in the past few months.
With the environment problem coming into attention, it is extremely important that we take action to protect our planet. As more people are determined to make a difference, low carbon lifestyle provides us with the perfect opportunity to do it.
Interestingly, our school called on us students to develop a low carbon lifestyle and become a responsible citizen several months ago. In response to the appeal, I have made some changes in my way of life, which range from transportation to water saving. For example, instead of asking my parents to drive me to school, I take a bus to and from school. Just like my schoolmates, I now refuse to use disposable chopsticks. At home, I even persuade my parents to reuse water, even though it is not so convenient. The TV and the computer are important entertainment for my family, but we sometimes read instead, which, I think, may help relieve the shortage of electricity.
I’m really glad to communicate with you about this topic.
Yours,
LiHua

試題分析：本文是一篇材料作文，題干雖然所提供的內(nèi)容比較多，但是實(shí)際給出的要點(diǎn)卻比較少，其開放程度同樣較大。不過考生對此話題非常熟悉，寫起來有話可說。題干內(nèi)容多，給考生帶來處理要點(diǎn)的難度，因此寫好本篇書面表達(dá)的關(guān)鍵是：選擇要點(diǎn)，挖掘要點(diǎn)和正確表達(dá)。題干所提供的內(nèi)容比較多，在表達(dá)時(shí)無需面面俱到，這就要根據(jù)題干選擇我們表達(dá)時(shí)必須的要點(diǎn)：圍繞“對低碳生活的理解、學(xué)校開展的活動(dòng)、最近生活方式的改變”等三個(gè)方面結(jié)合“做有責(zé)任的公民，過低碳生活”去挖掘要點(diǎn)。本篇書面表達(dá)的基本時(shí)態(tài)為現(xiàn)在時(shí)(一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)和現(xiàn)在完成時(shí))。偶爾會(huì)用到一般過去時(shí)，如：提及學(xué)校組織的活動(dòng)時(shí)就要用到。但是接著講“最近生活方式的改變”時(shí)，就要用現(xiàn)在范疇的時(shí)態(tài)了。
【亮點(diǎn)說明】范文長句多，充分展示了作者駕馭句子的能力。復(fù)合句固然長，但是簡單句也顯得不那么簡單，也比較長。比如“For example, instead of asking my parents to drive me to school, I take a bus to and from school.”就達(dá)20個(gè)字。全文共8句(不包括所給的部分)，涉及簡單句3個(gè)，復(fù)合句5個(gè)，開頭句和最后依據(jù)非常吸引人的眼球。開頭句中用了“with”復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)“With the environment problem coming into attention”，還用了非常靚麗的復(fù)合句 “it is extremely important that we take action to protect our planet”.最后一句更是錯(cuò)綜復(fù)雜：總體說，這是一個(gè)復(fù)合句，由主句“The TV and the computer are important entertainment for my family, but we sometimes read instead”加“which”引導(dǎo)的非限制性定語從句“which, I think, may help relieve the shortage of electricity”；主句中包含了并列句“but we sometimes read instead”；該句中還用了一個(gè)插入語“I think”對整個(gè)長句起到了緩沖的作用。短語“make a difference，In response to，range from transportation to water saving”等的使用也彰顯了作者扎實(shí)的語言基本功。