Question

你的朋友Susan轉(zhuǎn)學(xué)了,但是到了新的環(huán)境遇到了一些交友的困難。作為朋友,你很想給她點(diǎn)建議。于是你寫了一封信,鼓勵(lì)她努力適應(yīng)新的環(huán)境。要點(diǎn)如下:
1. 要自信,自信的人交友時(shí)才有魅力；
2. 與人微笑,交談時(shí)要目視對(duì)方；
3. 主動(dòng)邀請(qǐng)同學(xué)一起學(xué)習(xí)或者就餐時(shí)坐在一起；
4. 培養(yǎng)和與人分享你的興趣愛好。
注意: 1. 詞數(shù)120左右；2. 可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)。

Answer 1

Dear Susan
I’m sorry to hear that you are not getting along well with the students in the new school. So I’d like to give you some tips.
First, be as confident as you can. There’s nothing that attracts people more than someone who has a fairly positive attitude towards life ,Next, make eye contact with others ,smile at them when they look at you ,and laugh when they say something that’s funny, it makes you seem friendly. Third, invite others to do things together, For example, you can ask them to do small talk. It’s better to develop and share your interest with them.
Last but not least ,don’t be too hard on yourself .Making new friends takes a lot of time and effort You should be patient.
Best wishes and good luck!
Yours,
Lily

試題分析：這是一篇提綱類作文，動(dòng)筆前，一定要認(rèn)真分析要點(diǎn)，理解要點(diǎn)要表達(dá)的含義，不能遺漏要點(diǎn)，跑題偏題。我們需要用正確的英語(yǔ)把給出的要點(diǎn)表達(dá)出來.平時(shí)除了加強(qiáng)詞匯積累，寫作聯(lián)系以外，還可以適當(dāng)記憶一些類似的范文，這樣在考試中可以起到事半功倍的效果。本作文中給出的要點(diǎn)比較具體,故需要準(zhǔn)確表達(dá).寫作時(shí)注意準(zhǔn)確運(yùn)用時(shí)態(tài)，上下文意思連貫，符合邏輯關(guān)系，盡量使用自己熟悉的單詞句式，同時(shí)也要注意使用高級(jí)詞匯和高級(jí)句型使文章顯得更有檔次。特別注意在選擇句式時(shí)要賦予變化。
【亮點(diǎn)說明】所給范文條理清晰，語(yǔ)言簡(jiǎn)潔，應(yīng)用了一些較好的詞組和句子：get along well with和…相處，be hard on 對(duì)…嚴(yán)厲，There’s nothing that attracts people more than someone who has a fairly positive attitude to wards life , 這句話用了兩個(gè)定語(yǔ)從句，It’s better to develop and share your interest with them.,這句話用了it做形式主語(yǔ)， Making new friends takes a lot of time and effort 這句話用了動(dòng)名詞做主語(yǔ)，還有文章還使用了 First, Next, Third, Last but not least這樣的關(guān)聯(lián)詞使文章更加連貫。