Question

近年來，隨著私家車的增加，城市交通越來越擁擠。在中、小學(xué)生上學(xué)或放學(xué)時(shí)，校門口以及學(xué)校附近擁擠問題更加嚴(yán)重。這給學(xué)生、教師、家長和其他市民帶來許多不便。尤其值得注意的是，學(xué)校附近的交通堵塞也存在不可忽略的隱患。為此，這引起了不少民眾的擔(dān)憂。你作為一名在校學(xué)生，署名張小明，根據(jù)以下要點(diǎn)寫一封英語信，向本校英語報(bào)投稿
1. 為什么要寫這封英語信。
2. 你們學(xué)校門口及附近交通擁擠的原因。
3. 提出二至三條建議。
注意：詞數(shù)120左右。開頭部分已給，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。
Dear Editor,
I’m Zhang Xiaoming, a student from Grade 3. I am writing to discuss …
                                                                                
                                                                                
                                                                                

Answer 1

Dear Editor,
I’m Zhang Xiaoming, a student from Grade 3. I am writing to discuss the traffic problem near our school gate.
With so many parents coming to pick up their children, traffic jams are frequent near the school gate, causing much inconvenience to us students as well as our teachers and passers-by. Many people have been worrying about the hidden traffic problems. So I strongly recommend some effective and urgent measures be taken. First, we should encourage students to ride their bicycles or walk to school by themselves instead of taking cars, which will not only help reduce the jam but benefit students’ health as well. It is also a good idea to allow junior students to leave school 10 minutes earlier than others. Besides, cars should not be allowed to park near the school gate.
I do hope my suggestions can be considered and the problem can be solved soon.
Yours, 
Zhang Xiaoming

試題分析：本題是常見的書信類作文。作文要求就私家車帶來的交通擁擠和存在的安全隱患寫一封信。作文必須包含所給要點(diǎn)：寫這封信的原因；校門口交通擁擠的原因；提出建議。注意1. 開門見山地點(diǎn)明所要闡述的內(nèi)容。2. 分析不同的觀點(diǎn)：可采用分類式或?qū)Ρ仁�，并闡明理由。要注意層次清楚條理清晰。3. 歸納總結(jié)或發(fā)表評(píng)論�？忌�在寫作之前必修認(rèn)真審題，首先要注意文章的時(shí)態(tài)。不能根據(jù)材料逐字逐句的翻譯應(yīng)該注意句子的銜接，以提高作文的檔次。注意書信的格式要正確，使用第一人稱進(jìn)行寫作。不要出現(xiàn)拼寫、標(biāo)點(diǎn)錯(cuò)誤；注意時(shí)態(tài)和語法知識(shí)的正確運(yùn)用。
【亮點(diǎn)說明】范文注意使用First, Besides來表示列舉，顯得條理清晰；范文使用了一些重要的語法知識(shí)：with復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)With so many parents coming to pick up their children；非謂語動(dòng)詞causing much inconvenience to us；現(xiàn)在完成進(jìn)行時(shí)Many people have been worrying about...；虛擬語氣So I strongly recommend some effective and urgent measures be taken.；定語從句which will not only help reduce the jam but benefit students’ health等，巧妙地運(yùn)用了非謂語動(dòng)詞、定語從句等語法知識(shí)，構(gòu)思巧妙，句式多樣，提升了作文的檔次；范文還使用了一些固定短語：pick up；as well as；instead of；take measures；not only...but also；as well等，是作文內(nèi)容充實(shí)；范文還使用助動(dòng)詞do表示強(qiáng)調(diào)(I do hope...)，加強(qiáng)了語氣，表明了作者解決交通隱患的堅(jiān)定立場。