Question

假設(shè)你是一名高中生，名叫李華。因為老師擔(dān)心同學(xué)們?yōu)g覽不健康的網(wǎng)站，學(xué)校關(guān)閉了電腦教室的上網(wǎng)功能，同學(xué)們感到很郁悶。請你給校長寫一封建議信。內(nèi)容包括：
1. 無法上網(wǎng)給學(xué)生帶來的不便；
2. 網(wǎng)絡(luò)的必要性（幫助解決學(xué)習(xí)難題、獲取最新信息；）
3. 就老師的擔(dān)心發(fā)表你的看法。
注意：
1. 詞數(shù)120左右；
2. 可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫；
3. 信的開頭和結(jié)尾部分已經(jīng)給出， 不計入總詞數(shù)。
Dear headmaster,
I’m writing to request you to allow us to surf the Internet in the computer classroom.
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Yours,
Li Hua

Answer 1

Dear headmaster,
I’m writing to request you to allow us to surf the Internet in the computer classroom. Right now, we cannot use the computer in the computer classroom to get on line, which makes us very upset because we can’t search for the information we need or read news.
As far as I am concerned, surfing the Internet can benefit us in many ways. First of all, we can search for answers to some problems that we come across in our studies. Second, it is necessary for us to learn about the latest news. More importantly, we are no longer children now, so we are able to control our behavior. I promise we won’t visit unhealthy websites.
I do hope you can take my suggestion into consideration and make a final decision.
Yours,
Li Hua

試題分析：本文是書信類作文。請你給校長寫一封建議信。反映學(xué)校關(guān)閉電腦教室的上網(wǎng)功能的事情。文章的要點(diǎn)也基本上都給出來了，但不是很具體，考生要把要點(diǎn)解釋清楚，不能有遺漏。而且要拓展內(nèi)容，不能太空泛，在寫作的過程中，要注意使用高級詞匯和高級句型，如強(qiáng)調(diào)句，倒裝句等，讓文章更上檔次。同時在列舉措施的時候要使用合適的連接詞如：First，second， Besides, What’s more等，讓文章看起來很有條理，也很流暢。本篇文章在寫作時不要啰嗦，力求簡潔。
【亮點(diǎn)說明】所給范文語言簡潔，應(yīng)用了一些較好的詞組和句子：As far as I am concerned,據(jù)我所知，search for尋找，come across遇到，take …into consideration把..考慮在內(nèi)， we cannot use the computer in the computer classroom to get on line, which makes us very upset because we can’t search for the information we need or read news.這句話用了兩個定語從句， surfing the Internet can benefit us in many ways. 這句話用動名詞做主語，we can search for answers to some problems that we come across in our studies. 這句話也用了定語從句，it is necessary for us to learn about the latest news. 這句話用了it做形式主語， I do hope you can take my suggestion into consideration and make a final decision.這句話用了強(qiáng)調(diào)句。還有范文使用了First of all, Second, More importantly,這樣的關(guān)聯(lián)詞使文章更加連貫。