Question

當(dāng)今，很多青少年擁有手機(jī)，而越來越多的長輩因?yàn)橥磔呍诩彝ゾ蹠?huì)上只顧玩手機(jī)卻不和他們聊天感到失落萬分。請(qǐng)根據(jù)下圖寫一篇英語短文。內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)如下：

1. 描述圖畫所反映的事件；
2. 對(duì)圖中現(xiàn)象加以分析；
3. 針對(duì)這個(gè)現(xiàn)象提出建議。
注意：
開頭已寫，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)；
2. 考生可適當(dāng)發(fā)揮，使文章內(nèi)容充實(shí)、連貫；
3. 詞數(shù)120詞左右
It was Grandpa’s birthday party.                                                              
                                                                                          
                                                                                          
                                                                                          
                                                                                          
                                                                                          

Answer 1

It was Grandpa’s birthday party.  It was not easy to have his children and grandchildren all back home together. But they just busied themselves in playing their cellphones, totally ignoring their grandpa, who let out a deep sigh and left the party.
There is no doubt that cellphones have a negative impact on our lives. Heavy use of cellphones actually widens the distance between teenagers and their elders, leaving the elders more lonely. Worse still, addition to cellphones might also leads to teenagers’ poor performance at school, which adds to elders’ worries.
As far as I’m concerned, it’s necessary to limit the time we spend using cellphones. And I attach great importance to communicating with our family members face to face, which helps build a harmonious family atmosphere.

試題分析：題目要求根據(jù)所給圖畫寫一篇英語短文，主要突出手機(jī)對(duì)青少年的影響�？梢苑秩�段來寫。第一段客觀描述圖畫所示現(xiàn)象；第二段分析這種現(xiàn)象出現(xiàn)的原因；第三段給出自己的建議。注意用第一人稱進(jìn)行寫作，正確運(yùn)用時(shí)態(tài)、從句、倒裝等語法知識(shí)；注意單詞拼寫和標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)的正確使用。
【亮點(diǎn)說明】范文使用了固定句型：It was not easy to have his children；There is no doubt that...；it’s necessary to limit the time...等；范文注意使用But，Worse still，As far as I’m concerned來銜接前后句和上下文，使文章顯得緊湊；范文使用了較多的定語從句：who let out a deep sigh and left the party；which adds to elders’ worries；we spend using cellphones；which helps build a harmonious family atmosphere等，語法知識(shí)運(yùn)用靈活、得當(dāng)；另外，范文還使用了較多的固定搭配：busied themselves in playing...；have a negative impact on our lives；leads to；attach great importance to communicating with...；face to face等，使文章內(nèi)容充實(shí)，有說服力；范文還使用了現(xiàn)在分詞短語totally ignoring their grandpa；leaving the elders more lonely作伴隨狀語。