Question

手機(jī)和我們的生活越來越密切，讓我們的聯(lián)系變得更加方便，可有人認(rèn)為手機(jī)并不利于真正的交流。校報英文版正在開展征文活動，發(fā)起對這一話題的討論，你認(rèn)為手機(jī)對人與人之間溝通的影響是利大于弊還是弊大于利？請你以“Mobile phones, good or bad for communication?”為題寫篇短文向校報投稿，表達(dá)你的看法。
注意：1. 詞數(shù)120左右；
2. 短文題目已擬好，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)；
2. 文中不可出現(xiàn)與本人相關(guān)的信息。
Mobile phones, good or bad for communication?
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________

Answer 1

a possible version：
Mobile phones, good or bad for communication?
The technology of mobile phones has made many things easier for people. Someone can reach us or we can call someone wherever we are. However, people are unaware of the negative effects of mobile phones on communication.
Due to the convenience of mobile phones, many people have started to engage in social interaction in person less than before. In addition, mobile phone communication lacks facial expressions and body language, without which communication becomes less personal. Consequently, some people get confused and nervous while talking to a person face to face because they mostly talk to people on mobile phones. They even do not know the manners of communication.
As far as I am concerned, we should use mobile phones in a wise way and try to avoid depending too much on them.

試題分析：本文要求就手機(jī)的利弊發(fā)表看法，話題貼近日常生活，屬于話題作文。 對既定的話題進(jìn)行討論，學(xué)生有一定的自由發(fā)揮空間，可以暢所欲言，各抒己見。在謀篇布局時要注意文章的層次，可以從三個方面著手，分別說出使用手機(jī)的好處、壞處以及自己的看法。在詞匯運(yùn)用上盡量使用高級詞匯和短語，比如advantage、disadvantage、make use of等。此外，要做到句式的多變和長短句的交錯使用，比如強(qiáng)調(diào)句型、定語從句等，并且要恰當(dāng)?shù)卮┎逡恍┻^渡性詞語，以使文章自然、流暢。
【亮點(diǎn)說明】本文要點(diǎn)全面、內(nèi)容充實(shí)、行文流暢、層次清晰，第一段說明了人們對于手機(jī)的兩種不同看法，第二段講述了使用手機(jī)的一些不良結(jié)果，第三段講述了自己對于使用手機(jī)的看法。文章表達(dá)清楚，語言流暢，很好地完成了寫作任務(wù)。此外本文恰當(dāng)?shù)厥褂昧算暯佑谜Z，如： However, in addition, consequently ，As far as I am concerned等。在句式方面也做到了長短句結(jié)合，并且使用了復(fù)雜句式，如：some people get confused and nervous while talking to a person face to face because they mostly talk to people on mobile phones，體現(xiàn)了作者對語言的精準(zhǔn)把握，有效的表達(dá)了豐富的信息，。