Question

假如你是愛(ài)華，請(qǐng)你依據(jù)下表，描述一下你的爸爸。

過(guò)去	現(xiàn)在
抽煙 很重 呆在家，上網(wǎng) 不干家務(wù)	戒煙 通過(guò)鍛煉等方式來(lái)減肥 經(jīng)常旅游，聽(tīng)音樂(lè) 幫媽媽干家務(wù)，輔導(dǎo)我功課
猜想一下爸爸和我們家庭未來(lái)的生活

要求：字?jǐn)?shù)80—100，可以適當(dāng)發(fā)揮。

Answer 1

Hello, I’m Ai Hua. You know that it seems that my father has changed a lot in the past few years. Let me tell you about it.
Firstly, he used to like smoking. But now he gives it up. Besides he used to be fat, but he is losing his weight by exercising himself such as swimming and climbing. What’s more, he just liked staying at home and surfed the Internet. But now he is used to traveling and listening to music a lot. Finally ,he didn’t do chores. And now he not only helps mum with housework, but also helps me with my housework.
I’m very proud of him. My mother and I are very happy that he has changed a lot. We’re sure that he must be very healthy and helpful. Our family must live a happier life in the future.

試題分析：這是一篇給材料作文，描述愛(ài)華父親現(xiàn)在和過(guò)去的變化。本題給出了具體材料,但在寫作時(shí)要注意時(shí)態(tài)，結(jié)合所給材料可知，描寫自己過(guò)去時(shí)，應(yīng)該主要用一般過(guò)去時(shí)，描寫自己現(xiàn)在時(shí)，應(yīng)該主要用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)。寫作中應(yīng)適當(dāng)使用連詞，做到上下文聯(lián)系緊密，符合邏輯關(guān)系。
【亮點(diǎn)說(shuō)明】如果文章中使用了非常好的短語(yǔ)或句子會(huì)給文章增色，如used to do、losing his weight、it seems that、help with。句中使用了一些簡(jiǎn)單的從句，還運(yùn)用了but ，Besides，And等使上下文銜接的更好。