Question

你校校門(mén)口在放學(xué)時(shí)間經(jīng)常出現(xiàn)交通擁堵，給師生和路人帶來(lái)很多不便。你校英文報(bào)就此向?qū)W生征集解決擁堵的良策。假如你是高三學(xué)生李華，請(qǐng)按下列提示用英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)一封信，向校報(bào)投稿。
1. 寫(xiě)信的目的。
2. 分析學(xué)校門(mén)口擁堵的原因。
3. 提出2-3點(diǎn)建議。
注意：詞數(shù)120左右。
Dear Editor,
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Yours,
Li Hua

Answer 1

One possible version：
Dear Editor ,
I’m liHua , a student from Grade 3. I am writing to discuss the traffic problem near our school gate.
With so many parents coming to pick up their children , traffic jams are frequent near the school gate , causing much inconvenience to us and passers- by .
I strongly recommend some effective measures be taken .First , we should encourage students to ride a bicycle or walk to school by themselves instead of taking a car , which will not only help reduce the jam , but benefit students’ health . It is also a good idea to allow junior students to leave school 10 minutes earlier than others . Besides , cars should not be allowed to park near the school gate .
I do hope my suggestions can be considered and the problem can disappear soon.
Yours,
LiHua

試題分析：本篇書(shū)面表達(dá)要求寫(xiě)一封信。根據(jù)提示的要點(diǎn)，文章可以分為三段，第一段寫(xiě)寫(xiě)信的目的，第二段分析學(xué)校門(mén)口擁堵的原因，第三段提出自己的建議。這樣的段落安排會(huì)使文章脈絡(luò)分明，結(jié)構(gòu)清晰。此外，在提出幾項(xiàng)建議時(shí)要注意使用表順序的連接詞，以使文章有條理性，層次感。在時(shí)態(tài)選擇上可以使用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)來(lái)表述建議，而且在寫(xiě)作時(shí)還要注意運(yùn)用多樣化的句式和句法結(jié)構(gòu)，以提高文章檔次。
【亮點(diǎn)說(shuō)明】本篇范文語(yǔ)言簡(jiǎn)練流暢，結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊，要點(diǎn)全面。在結(jié)構(gòu)安排上采用三段式，首段提出寫(xiě)信的目的，其他兩段分析原因和給出建議，這樣的安排顯示了作者思路的清晰，而且使得文章條理分明。此外，介詞短語(yǔ)With so many parents coming to pick up their children，和分詞短語(yǔ)causing much inconvenience to us and passers- by的使用使句式更富于變化。并且First， but，also， Besides等詞的使用也使文章內(nèi)容銜接更為自然，有效地起到了承接上下文的作用，顯示了較強(qiáng)的邏輯性。