Question

如今手機(jī)在中學(xué)生當(dāng)中使用越來越普遍，同學(xué)就“校園內(nèi)是否可以使用手機(jī)”進(jìn)行討論同學(xué)們對(duì)此各抒己見. 請(qǐng)你給編輯寫一封信，反映討論情況并談?wù)勀阕约旱挠^點(diǎn)。

贊同	不贊同	你的觀點(diǎn)
1. 方便聯(lián)系	1．學(xué)校有公用電話	…
2. 突發(fā)事故，可求助	2．玩游戲 ，影響學(xué)習(xí)
3. 課余可放松自己	3. 浪費(fèi)時(shí)間，金錢

注意：1. 開頭部分已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)；2可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)和連接詞，使文章通順連貫3.詞數(shù)：100左右
Dear Editor,
Nowadays mobile phones are becoming more and more popular among the middle school students.                                                                  
                                                                               
                                                                               
_________________________________________   
Yours truly,
Wang Lin

Answer 1

Dear Editor,
Nowadays mobile phones are becoming more and more popular among the middle school students My schoolmates have different opinions. Some think it is convenient to get in touch with others with the cell-phone, which also makes you feel safe especially in time of trouble. Besides, We can relax ourselves by playing them when we’re tired of our studies.
While others think differently. First, the cell-phone in not a must in school, as there are some IC phones there, making it easy to call others. Second, many students often play e -games and send e-massages with their cell-phones, even in class, which will surely have bad effects on their study. Worse is to come, it will result in a great waste of time and money.
In my opinion, the cell-phone is a useful tool in our daily life. But it doesn't mean we can use freely in school. (it’s not wrong to follow the fashion, but the most important thing is how to use the mobile phone in a right way.)
Yours truly,
Wang Lin

試題分析：考查提綱類作文。本文屬于提綱里作文中常見的給材料作文。話題是校園內(nèi)是否可以使用手機(jī)，文章的要點(diǎn)都已經(jīng)以表格形式給出，考生只需要做適當(dāng)?shù)拇��?lián)，用合適的連接詞把這些分開的要點(diǎn)連接詞起來如first,second， Worse is to come,等。本文中可以使用倒裝句，把表示地點(diǎn)的介詞短語提起，后面使用全部倒裝。同時(shí)變化使用不同的句式，讓文章更富有變化，提升文章的檔次。如Some think it is convenient to get in touch with others with the cell-phone, which also makes you feel safe especially in time of trouble.這句話里面有非限制性定語從句，the cell-phone in not a must in school, as there are some IC phones there, making it easy to call others這句話是現(xiàn)在分詞做結(jié)果狀語。
點(diǎn)評(píng)：對(duì)于提綱類短文最重要的是不要遺漏要點(diǎn)，所有的要點(diǎn)要全面覆蓋，在寫作的時(shí)候要使用合適的連接詞和高級(jí)句型讓文章更流暢更有層次。