Question

前不久，中央電視臺報道了貴州十歲男孩獨(dú)自照顧重病媽媽的故事，引起社會極大反響。假如你是某校高三學(xué)生李華，請根據(jù)以下要點用英語向某英語報社寫一封信。1、呼吁社會愛心捐助；2、學(xué)會感恩；3、結(jié)合實際談?wù)勀愕目捶āＷ⒁猓?、信的開頭和結(jié)尾已給出，不記入總詞數(shù)；2、可根據(jù)內(nèi)容要點適當(dāng)發(fā)揮；詞數(shù)120個左右。
Dear editor ,
I’m a  student of Senior Three . Not long ago , from CCTV, I learned that a ten-year-old boy in Guizhou was taking care of his seriously sick mother in hospital alone , by which I was deeply moved ….
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Yours sincerely ,
Li Hua

Answer 1

Dear editor ,
I’m a  student of Senior Three . Not long ago , from CCTV, I learned that a ten-year-old boy in Guizhou was taking care of his seriously sick mother in hospital alone , by which I was deeply moved ….
China is a great country and Chinese people think highly of traditional virtues. It is what the child did for his mother that sets us students a good example. First, something should be done for the little boy and his family. We appeal to the whole society to donate money or do something else to help them out of the difficulty. Second, our schools should help to develop the spirit of being grateful to the society,  teachers as well as parents. Last but not least, our government should contitue,  To improve the medical insurance system, especially to support those who are badly in need of medical care.
As students, not only should we work hard at our lessons, but we should be helpful, bear gratitude in mind and overcome difficulties bravely and wisely.
Yours sincerely ,
Li Hua

試題分析：本文是書信類作文，要求就貴州十歲男孩獨(dú)自照顧重病媽媽的故事用英語向某英語報社寫一封信。文章的要點也基本上都給出來了，但不是很具體，考生要把要點包括進(jìn)去，不能有遺漏。而且要發(fā)揮自己的想象，充實內(nèi)容，在寫作的過程中，要注意使用高級詞匯和高級句型，如強(qiáng)調(diào)句，倒裝句等，讓文章更上檔次。同時在列舉措施的時候要使用合適的連接詞如：First，second， Besides, What’s more等，讓文章看起來很有條理，也很流暢。本篇文章在寫作時不要啰嗦，力求簡潔。
【亮點說明】所給范文語言簡潔，應(yīng)用了一些較好的詞組和句子： think highly of 高度評價，in need of需要，bear sth. in mind記住， It is what the child did for his mother that sets us students a good example. 這句話用了主語從句和強(qiáng)調(diào)句， appeal to sb. to do sth呼吁某人做..，as well as 不但…而且， To improve the medical insurance system, especially to support those who are badly in need of medical care.這句話用了定語從句， not only should we work hard at our lessons, but we should be helpful, bear gratitude in mind and overcome difficulties bravely and wisely.這句話用了倒裝句，還有文章使用了 First, Second, Last but not least這樣的關(guān)聯(lián)詞使文章更連貫。