Question

假設(shè)你是Tony,今年寒假要去參加由市共青團(tuán)組織的赴澳大利亞“綠色之旅” 冬令營(yíng)（winter camp）活動(dòng)。請(qǐng)你根據(jù)一些提示，寫(xiě)一篇在開(kāi)營(yíng)式上的自我介紹。介紹必須包含要點(diǎn)提示，可適當(dāng)拓展。要求詞數(shù)在70-80之間，開(kāi)頭和結(jié)尾已給，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。
要點(diǎn)提示：
英文名字（Tony），來(lái)自中國(guó)杭州, 出生于1998年。(was born in 出生于)
經(jīng)常鍛煉。每天吃水果蔬菜，喝牛奶；很少吃垃圾食品
學(xué)校離家兩公里；騎自行車上學(xué)
與好朋友Tom比較：Tom比你高，比你文靜；你更外向。
你打算：努力學(xué)習(xí)，取得好成績(jī)
I’m very glad to introduce(介紹)myself to all of you . ___________________________________
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Answer 1

I’m very glad to introduce myself to all of you. My English name is Tony. I was born in 1998. I live in Hangzhou, a very beautiful city. I’m very healthy, because I often exercise. I go to school by bike with my friend Tom. It’s only two kilometers from our home to school. Oh, Tom is my good friend, he’s taller and quieter than me, and I’m more outgoing.
In my free time, I often play basketball with Tom. For food, I eat vegetables and fruit every day, and I also drink milk, I hardly ever eat junk food.
I’m going to be a teacher when I grow up. For this reason, I’m going to work hard and get good grades.
I feel lucky to join you. I hope that we can be good friends. That’s all. Thank you.

試題分析：這是一篇給材料作文，題目中已經(jīng)給出了很多信息和要點(diǎn)。在寫(xiě)作時(shí)，要注意審題，不要遺漏要點(diǎn)。從題目可知，這篇文章是自我介紹，所以要用第一人稱寫(xiě)，可以用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)。在組織語(yǔ)言的時(shí)候，要注意表達(dá)的準(zhǔn)確性。句子要完整，表達(dá)要清晰，句子之間要流暢。
【亮點(diǎn)分析】
這篇文章緊扣材料，內(nèi)容完整，表達(dá)清晰，整體通順流暢。里面不乏好的短語(yǔ)和句子，如：I live in Hangzhou, a very beautiful city我住在杭州，一個(gè)美麗的城市；句中用到了同位語(yǔ)結(jié)構(gòu)。he’s taller and quieter than me, and I’m more outgoing.他比我高而且要安靜，而我更外向；句中用到了形容詞比較級(jí)，and 連接兩個(gè)并列的句子�！璦nd I also drink milk, I hardly ever eat junk food.我也喜歡喝牛奶，我?guī)缀醪怀岳�圾食品。Hardly ever幾乎不。